I was writing streams of consciousness stuff yesterday, and I wrote some pretty fascinating (sort of morbid) “reflections.”
I had to remake myself over and over to get to where I am today. Some of these changes were subconscious, and others more deliberate.
I would also probably have to remake who I am now, over and over, in the future.
We all need to change a little in order to grow. We always have to die a little, day by day, to live a fresh new tomorrow and move forward to the future.
It’s like a relay race between multiple 24-hour versions of “Present me“ that stretch an entire lifetime–each day that passes by once today’s present me passes the baton to tomorrow’s possible-future me, present me dies to become ghosts of multiple versions of past me’s.
Some ghosts of past me will linger and haunt present me. That’s okay. We have some room to entertain ghosts here until they are ready to move on.
In their wake, we leave behind grave markers, epitaphs, shrines, and temples, but only the present lives on.
Only present me lives on.
And tonight when I go to sleep, present me will die too. I will become a ghost tomorrow that haunts one of my possible-future selves.
But right now, present me is still alive. I will do what I must so my future ghost has no regrets that haunts tomorrow’s present me.
This is how I live everyday as my last–quite literally, in my head.
Every 24-versions of me I can’t get back will have regrets that future 24-hour versions of me might not be able to settle–because my future 24-hour selves will have their own regrets to leave behind once their time is up. So, do all that you can today, present me. You only have 24 hours to exist. Make it count.
Rest while you can, play while you can, work your best work while you can, confront all you need to confront while you can, and love the people you love while you can.
“I will die tonight,” yesterday’s present-now-past me writes, “I tried to leave no regrets behind. I leave the rest to you, my possible-future self.”
PsychiARTIST 